Today is the day that my son gets awarded for a high test score in front of the whole school. He is not looking forward to it at all. The day he found out about his test score and the ceremony, he actually wrote a two page note about hating school and the reasons why.

I knew it was going to be a tough morning. He had gone to bed crying the night before about how he wasn’t going to school the next day.

I had already discovered that what he fears is being made fun of. Maybe he’s read too many Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. When I drop him off and pick him up from school, I hear lots of kids yelling greeting to him. I reminded him of this.

When he asked me if I ever had to do anything like this, I told him no. I don’t think we had those kinds of ceremonies in elementary school when I was a kid. In middle school, I got a perfect attendance award once. It was very ironic, as it was the worst school year of my life.

I knew it was going to be a struggle just getting him out of bed. So I made it a special morning. I told him I wanted to balance his dread with some positive emotions, so I told him once he was dressed, we could play a round of MarioKart. He got dressed lickety-split. I also let him watch a tv show during breakfast, which is something he has never gotten to do on a school morning previously.

And while it was still a struggle to get out the door, we made it.

Later, I remembered a similar activity that I dreaded as a kid. Similar, but different. I used to hate having to perform in piano recitals. I hated them with a passion. I never wanted to be a professional piano player, so why did I have to perform for others? I had no problem playing in front of my family, but for strangers? Why? And recitals always occurred during what would have otherwise been playtime. One of the good things about getting scarlet fever when I was thirteen, was getting to miss both a piano recital and a school dance performance.

I don’t think there was much “curious parenting” that existed when I was a kid. And I certainly don’t remember any adults talking about or teaching me emotional regulation as a child. I wish someone had. I’m sure it would have improved my young adult life immensely.

I sang the “Green Tara” chant to my son last night as a lullaby. I recently learned it in a mantra challenge on Insight Timer. It helps reduce fear and anxiety. It has helped me when I’ve sung it. And I think it helped him hearing it.