It was bittersweet to receive this lovely card from one of the admin departments last week for hitting 15 years with my organization. Three of those years were as an intermittent librarian, as I also worked at the Arizona Health Sciences Library as an information associate while going to school. When I finally got the full time library associate position in the public library, I was elated. I started at Main Library.

Then I got a librarian position and worked in adult services for over two years, in youth services for over a year, and finally in children’s services for over seven years.

I really can’t believe that I’ve been with one organization for that long!

Having my suspicions validated earlier this year when I was diagnosed with ADHD has put a lot of previous life experiences in new lights for me – like having difficulties staying with employers. (I’d get fed up with bullshit and quit – sometimes quite impulsively).

This is not an impulsive decision. It has been planned for over a year.

I’ve been wanting to start my own business for years and haven’t had the time.

I feel like I am walking out over a ledge and I don’t know what there will be to grab a hold of. It’s super scary and my anxiety has been ramping up.

I’m incredibly nervous about the prospect of taking everything on myself, but also excited by the possibilities.

I feel like I need to do this for my health. I feel like the stress of my current situation is slowing killing me.

What good are secure benefits if the job itself is chipping away at your well being?

And there is no way to just reduce my hours, because it’s a fixed permanent government position. The library does have some part time positions, but not many. And because benefits are so expensive, they don’t want to create any more.

So it’s time for me to switch gears. Change hats. I’m seeking a more relaxed life style that doesn’t involve driving every day.

I shall be a business owner and operator. A weaver and a writer. A mother and a teacher. A dreamer and a schemer.

And it will all happen soon. By the beginning of December I will be retired from Pima County!